Goosebumps book 4: Say Cheese and Die! - One picture is worth a thousand screams.

Update: I found a podcast called Goosebuds where some guys talk in depth about each book pretty much like how I am but with their voices and for an hour. I haven't listened to it yet but I bet they have a lot more interesting things to say than I do because like I said, I am a terrible reviewer. 

Brief Summary and Review: 

Greg and his friends find an old camera in an abandoned house but the photos that develop show horrible things happening to the subjects, and then they come true! It’s bad news and a lot of bad things happen to Greg’s friends and family before they finally decide it would be best to return the camera.

This one had me WORKED. UP. It had me spooked and upset the entire time. My initial reaction was that I was enjoying it and that’s why I was so worked up but I maybe hated it, it’s impossible to say. 

I mean, first of all, Greg was the only one to react the right way at all, all of his friends were like, “nah man you’re crazy” but clearly he was not, a broken camera does not radically distort the context of a photo, not how it works. The worst of them was Shari treating it like a toy, I was furious. 

I think the worst moment when I was the most worked up was when they took the photo of Bird at his baseball game and he was like knocked unconscious in the outfield, that one really got me. In all of the Goosebumps books they do crazy and misleading chapter break cliff hangers where you think someone died but they were just messing with you, but in this one it was a false alarm followed by the real thing which was too much for me for sure. 

Also I’m curious about the ripping up of the photos. Greg ripped up the photo of Shari which reversed its effects but would it have worked with any of the other ones? I’m intrigued. 

I have mixed feelings about this one for sure but I give it a 10/10 for getting me so worked up.

Rating:

Did I like this one or did I hate it? Unclear. For now I’m giving it the #2 position I think.

1. Stay Out of the Basement (#2)

2. Say Cheese and Die! (#4)

3. Monster Blood (#3)

4. Welcome to Dead House (#1)

Subject to change for sure. I just think as far as cursed objects go, I prefer the camera to the can of slime. 

The Journey: 

A skeleton barbecue on the cover and a catchy, pun of a cover tagline. I’m in. 

Chapter 1: A lot of characters right off the bat. Michael Warner, Greg Banks, Doug “Bird” Arthur, and Shari Walker all bored with nothing to do in their small town, and discuss their options. They’re bored? I’m bored.

As they walk they pass an abandoned house called the Coffman house, featured in a variety of scary stories. What better thing to do when you’re bored than go explore a spooky old house? 

Chapter 2: There is some debate and several chicken sounds but they finally decide to go in. There is apparently a “weird-looking man of fifty or sixty they’d all seen lurking around town” who they call Spidey who they think might be staying in the Coffman house. Sure. 

They see some rats, some things go bump, and then Bird goes into the basement. 

Chapter 3: The classic tale of the boy who cried wolf is mentioned. Foreshadowing? Probably. But you never know, nothing ever came of Casey’s interest in lemon trees. 

More evidence that Spidey is living there, and some dusty old clothes which they obviously try on. Greg does some more exploring and finds a hidden cabinet that contains, you guessed it, a camera. 

Chapter 4: Greg is a camera-lover so he takes it and takes snaps a photo of Michael, but before they have a chance to see the photo it shot out, Michael falls down and hurts his ankle, and they hear footsteps upstairs.

Chapter 5: So they’re trying to sneak an injured Michael out of a hidden entrance behind the furnace and Spidey is calling down to them from upstairs but the door is stuck and they’re panicking…

Chapter 6: …but they finally get the doors open and take off running, camera still in Greg’s hand, and Spidey staring at them as they go. 

Chapter 7: Something is weird about Michael’s photo. They took the picture before he fell but the picture is of him as he’s falling… that can’t be right. 

Greg runs home and sees his dad’s new car and takes a photo before going inside to hide his camera from his parents. 

Chapter 8: The photo of the brand new car is a photo of a totaled car after a serious accident. Hmm.

Is the camera causing accidents or predicting them? As far as cursed objects go, a cursed camera is a pretty cool one. Let’s see where this goes. 

Then Greg’s dad is like “I’m taking you all for a drive in the new car!” Which… uh oh.

Chapter 9: His family is trying to make casual dinner conversation and meanwhile Greg is like “HOLY CRAP SOMETHING CRAZY IS HAPPENING WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE IN DAD’S CAR” (he doesn’t actually say that but it’s implied). 

Chapter 10: They go for a drive and they’re all excited about the new car. His dad is speeding a little bit and he’s so excited but meanwhile Greg is about to pass out from fear in the backseat and Dad starts trying to find the light switch and Greg’s like “Dad—look out for that truck!” 

Chapter 11: … but they’re okay, it’s okay. 

At home, Greg can’t stop looking at the photo of the “new” car and decides to try again with his brother Terry as his subject. This time the photo of Terry in his room develops into Terry, looking terrified, in front of the house across the street from the playground? 

I’m sure that’ll come up again later. 

Fast-forward to Tuesday, Greg brings the camera to Bird’s little league game. He and Shari take a picture of Bird and it turns out to be a picture of him “sprawled unconscious on his back, his mouth twisted open, his neck bent at a frightening angle, his eyes shut tight.” 

At this point they definitely get rid of the camera, right? 

Chapter 12: Greg and Shari are investigating the camera during the game, it has no name on it, no words of any kind, and doesn’t seem to have a way to open it, and then they look up and see in real life what the photo of Bird had already shown them. 

This one is really frightening, I’m legitimately frightened by this one.

Chapter 13: Classic, it was a prank, Bird was pranking them. R.L. Stine definitely knows his way around a chapter break cliff-hanger. Jesus Christ. 

OH MY GOD IT HAPPENED ANYWAYS THE FIRST TIME WAS A PRANK BUT THIS TIME IT REALLY HAPPENED I cannot. Is he dead? Did he die? Did Greg just accidentally murder his friend with a cursed camera? 

Chapter 14: AND NOW TERRY IS THERE BECAUSE THEIR DAD WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT and fulfills two snapshots at once, Terry’s and the car! Did Greg just murder his friend and his dad? And what about Michael? Why was his ankle thing so much less severe? He essentially just walked it off. This one is causing me emotional turmoil. 

There is a dark figure watching, hiding. 

Chapter 15: They go to the hospital and Greg is freaking out (with good reason) and their dad is alive and awake but very injured. Greg wants to tell his parents the truth but figures they would never believe him anyways. 

Chapter 16: Bird is also okay, lucky even. But stupid Shari wants Greg to bring the murder camera to her birthday party for entertainment and he agrees even though he knows it’s stupid. Stupid. 

Chapter 17: It is apparently important that Michael is wearing an oversized Hawaiian shirt. 

Now Shari is all, “you can take my picture first since it’s my birthday,” because she’s a dummy. So Greg takes the photo and wants him to take one of Michael but Michael is smarter than Shari and is like “No way!” and then Shari is like “Truth or Dare!” and there are nine girls there and just the three boys and they are all temporarily distracted from the death camera because they are 12 years old and Truth or Dare is bound to be incredibly embarrassing. 

But then they look at the photo of Shari and she’s not in it for some reason so Greg takes another one but still she’s not in it so Shari loses interest and it’s back to Truth or Dare which is described to be “just as embarrassing as Greg imagined”. 

And then it’s time for cake but they can’t find Shari. 

Chapter 18: Shari is missing and Greg tries to tell the police but obviously they think he’s crazy.

Chapter 19: Greg goes home to find no one home and his room ransacked. Could it have been Spidey looking for his cursed camera?

Chapter 20: Greg contemplates the situation.

Chapter 21: Greg contemplates some more.

Chapter 22: Greg tries to convince Bird and Michael to help him return the camera to where he found it and in the process Bird accidentally takes Greg’s picture! 

Chapter 23: Now two older boys, Joey Ferris and Mickey Ward, show up, again with the pair of bullies that no one has time for because much worse things are going down, and they try to steal the camera but there is no way Greg is about to let them murder each other with that horrible thing so he steals it back and runs away and they all go home. 

Chapter 24: Greg looks at the photo Bird took of him and it’s he and Shari looking terrified at the playground. Weird. 

Then his mom finds him and takes him home. 

He’s freaking out and rips up the photos that was supposed to be of Shari and then two hours later the phone rings, and it’s Shari!

Could it be that easy? If he rips up the photos does it cancel the effects? That can’t be right, it’s too simple. So much stress for nothing.

Chapter 25: Shari doesn’t remember anything about what happened in between her birthday and her return (which was at the exact moment that Greg destroyed the photos) and Greg goes to see her at the playground, and Spidey shows up.

That must be the photo of Greg and Shari looking scared at the playground. 

Chapter 26: So they run, and some guy named Jerry Norman from across the street threatens to call the police on Spidey, so Spidey leaves and Shari agrees to help Greg return the camera.

Chapter 27: Shari and Greg are afraid of the Coffman house but go inside anyways.

Chapter 28: They put the camera back but then Spidey spots them! 

Chapter 29: Spidey is very angry at them for using the camera because “the camera is evil… I should know. I helped create it.” Oh no, it’s the Monster Blood all over again.

Apparently Spidey’s scientist partner or whatever invented the camera and then cursed it so no one else could profit from it if it was stolen because he was a master of the dark arts in addition to being a scientist so now it’s a camera that literally steals souls. Spidey’s like, “I lost everything because of it… I’m afraid you can’t go. You know too much.” 

Wow I’m glad he at least explained himself before trying to kill them.

Chapter 30: Spidey wants to use the camera against them but Shari tries to take it from him. As they struggle the camera flashes but… whose photo did it take? Camera in hand, Shari and Greg make a run for it. 

Chapter 31: It was a photo of Spidey, and he dies and they return the camera to where the found it.

And then Joey and Mickey find it and take it. Can’t wait for the sequel. 

Up next: The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb