WikiHow: Imaginary Friends

Just to clarify, my friends are real people. Sometimes, I just worry that my life isn't real. 

I haven't had an actual imaginary friend since I was 4. His name was Stephen, which honestly was an interesting name choice, considering my real life best friend in my Pre-K class was also named Stephen.

I also had an entire imaginary world and an over-active imagination.

Today, we will be discussing WikiHow on imaginary friends.

I think WikiHow is one of the most entertaining websites in all of the Internet. I mean there is an entry for anything and everything, and there are just some things that the step-by-step approach was not meant to be applied to. Like, "How to Sympathize" and "How to Avoid Losing a Friend to Someone You Hate". 

WikiHow has several articles about imaginary friends, the most prominent of which is "How to Make an Imaginary Friend". The very first thing this article states is that, "The best kind of friend is an imaginary friend. Why? Because your imaginary friend always loves to play with you, loves to listen to you, and never hurts your feelings". 

That sounds like a pretty sweet deal, I'm in. 

Most of the steps involve brainstorming, emphasis on the fact that my imaginary friend can be whatever I want it to be. For the most part, it seems similar to the process of creating a character for a story. Except that the story is real life.

"Step 9: Never neglect your imaginary friend. They should be allowed to be complex creatures like the rest of us!" 

My favorite part of the article is tips and warnings at the end. I mean really you should just go read them all yourself, but my personal favorites are:

"If they don't want to play, don't make them." ... Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose? 

"Do not accidentally sit on your imaginary friend."

"Don't give them the same name as yourself or a close family member/friend. This is just confusing." It worked out just fine when I did it with Stephen, thank you very much.

"People might think you are weird and/or make fun of you." 

We should all have imaginary friends.

I think what I find so amusing about this article is the instruction manual style approach to something so abstract and creative. The reason we have imaginary friends as kids is that there are no rules to it. An imaginary friend can be anything you want it to be, that's the beauty of it.

As a kid, I had an entire imaginary world where I could go to escape whenever I wanted to. Remember when "pretend" was a real game that could keep you entertained for hours?

I wish I was still capable of having an imaginary friend. Not because I need more friends, but because I wish I could still access that level of my imagination.

Maybe we should all just head over to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and adopt one today. 

On Sandwiches

I. Love. Sandwiches.

Seriously, I love them. The thing with sandwiches is that you can put anything on them. Anything at all. I mean the possibilities are endless.

My love of sandwiches began the first time my parents left me home alone, and I decided to make myself a sandwich for lunch. I knew this wasn't going to be an ordinary sandwich. My parents had given me an opportunity by leaving me to fend for myself. My original sandwich recipe went something like this:

-two slices of white bread

-a layer of deli turkey

-a slice of cheddar cheese

-honey

-chocolate chips

It sounds horrible, right? And to be honest it probably was, but it tasted like freedom and opportunity, and it opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities.

It is my dream to have a sandwich named after me.

I have this fantasy where I fall in love with a man who opens his own sandwich shop and he names a sandwich after me, because what better way to show a girl you love her than by naming a sandwich in her honor? I mean we have the Rachel, we have the Reuben, and I want there to also be the Jordan. 

The Jordan

Between two slices of your choice of bread: A solid layer of sliced turkey, a slice of gouda cheese, about five cucumber slices, cream cheese, and strawberry jam. 

I know it sounds maybe as horrible as my home-alone sandwich, but this one is actually delicious. It's the perfect balance of savory and sweet and I think I ate one every single day for lunch the entirety of my 2nd year of college. 

10/10, would recommend. 

How someone makes a sandwich says a lot about who they are as a person.

This occurred to me a few weeks ago when I was home sick for an entire week. On several occasions I was too weak to make it all the way across the street to the dining hall for meals, and I requested that my friends make me sandwiches. 

The first friend to bring me a sandwich was very concerned about my health. She was very insistent upon helping me. I asked for PB&J, and she chose to use plain white bread, peanut butter on one slice, and strawberry jam on the other. She had constructed a classic version of this sandwich, just like how my mom would make them. 

The second sandwich, also PB&J, came from a friend of mine who happens to be obsessed with peanut butter. Seriously, this kid puts peanut butter on his Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. He made his sandwich on thicker white bread, and put a layer of peanut butter on both slices of bread with grape jelly in between. This strategy is great if you're going to be saving the sandwich for later, as it prevents the bread from getting soggy. It also allows for more peanut butter, if that's where your PB&J priorities lie. The problem is that grape jelly is VERY slippery, and if it has nothing to soak into, it slips right out. This sandwich was a lot messier than the first, and definitely more peanut buttery.

The next sandwich I received was made for me by one of my best friends. This was the classic turkey and cheddar. What was amazing about this sandwich was that he managed to make the sandwich EXACTLY how I like it. It was wheat bread, with the right amount of turkey and the right amount of cheese, and the right amount of mayo. It was a true testament to how well he knows me. 

If I'm living this life looking for love, I guess what I'm really looking for is someone who will make me the perfect sandwich. 

...This has been Jordan, and all her feelings about sandwiches. You're welcome, and thanks for reading.